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The Past And Future Of The X-Franchise

Over the last fourteen years Fox has released seven X-Men films, with varying degrees of commercial and critical success. Currently Fox is attempting to re-establish the brand that has generated billions of dollars in revenue for the studio. In 2000, Bryan Singer took a much beloved comic book franchise and adapted it to the screen, generating critical and commercial success and arguably launching the Superhero Genre into what it is […]


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Sequelized: A Nightmare On Elm Street

A Nightmare on Elm Street might be my favorite film franchise ever. I know that they got pretty shitty at the end but Freddy Vs Jason was great. Why is Nightmare a dead franchise? Why did New Line Cinema sell the rights to Platinum Dunes? Why isn’t there another Nightmare sequel that could be be both a new jumping on point for newbie fans and a continuation for older fans? […]


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Dear Mr Snyder

Dear Zach Snyder, I’m not fond of the person you’ve become. When I first met you there was an air of great potential about you. I thought  you’d become a really interesting and important director. Oh, how I was wrong. I first encountered your work on you first feature film, the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Initially, I was shocked and disgusted by the very idea of remaking arguably […]


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In Defense Of The Baby Blue Tracksuit

As the Lone Ranger has officially failed at the box office there have been numerous article floating around the Internet that are analyzing the various impacts that it will have on the film market, disney’s bottom line, and the future of Armie Hammer and Westerns in general. Those are all interesting topics but they haven’t been rattling around my head all weekend. The burning questions that appears to be inescapable […]


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I Won’t Be Going To See The Lone Ranger

I’m a huge Lone Ranger fan. I grew up listening to the Lone Ranger radio show. Then, with my parents indulging in this new-fangled technology called VHS, I eventually watched and memorized the 1950’s TV show. Since then, I’ve seen just about every incarnation of the Lone Ranger. However, this new Jerry Bruckhiemer/Johnny Depp/Gore Verbinski incarnation appears to have missed what makes the character so iconic. As a bit of […]


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Dear Mr Sandler…

Dear Mr Adam Sandler, You probably don’t remember me. My name is Dave. I sat next you in a restaurant in Tucson, Arizona on Yom Kippur. You were eating breakfast with your wife, mother-in-law, and kids. You seemed like a nice person, who was doing his best to provide for and love his family. The whole time I was sitting next to you I wanted to tell you something, but […]


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Please Stop Making Overly Revealing Trailers, Hollywood

Brian De Palma is an amazing talent. He’s had staying power, cultural relevence, and a knack for picking interesting projects. His latest work, Passion, is a film about… well, I’m fairly confident I could explain not only what the movie is about but what happens in it beat for beat. The new trailer for De Palma’s Passion is so idiotically poorly made it’s almost humorous. The movie doesn’t look bad […]


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Craig Zobel’s Compliance (Film Review)

Compliance is one of those films that wants to grabs you and never let you go. If it succeeds at this goal is debatable. The film revolves around two woman, Becky and Sandra. Becky is a young plucky fast food joint employee and Sandra is the shift manager. When Sandra receives a phone call, from someone claiming to be the police, accusing Becky of stealing money from a customer she […]


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The Horror Express (Film Review)

In a summer that is dominated by high profile cameos, talked about bit parts, and scene stealing appearances it would appear prudent to revisit one of the greatest all-time scene stealing roles ever created on film, in the history of things that have been put on film, and are awesome. How’s that for a run-on sentence. The film that we will be discussing today is The Horror Express. It’s a […]


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Michael Mann’s The Keep (Film Review)

The Keep is one of those special films that is seemingly secreted away by the film world. It’s virtually unknown in both nerd B-movie aficionado circles and mainstream audiences. It’s in that nebulas gray area. It’s a film that isn’t crappy enough to be loved with irony and it isn’t quality enough to be heralded as a revolutionary step forward. Thus, it’s nearly lost to the sands of time. The […]


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Prometheus 2 To Be Written By Jack Paglen

Prometheus was Ridley Scott’s return to science fiction. The trailers looked beautiful, the cast was impressive, and the fact that it was a prequel to Alien got people even more excited. The movie was release and…. Well, it had some flaws. I love Prometheus. It’s not a movie for everyone. I understand that. It’s a complicated film that is at times deliberately obstinant. It forces the audience to connect the […]


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No, It’s Really Bad: Man Of Steel

The Man of Steel is the first non-Nolan fiscally successful DC movie in decades. That makes me happy. If only for the reason that we’ll hopefully get more DC characters that are brought to the big screen. Hopefully they will be treated with  more grace and finesse than Superman.   The Man of Steel is an interesting conundrum. It, from the get-go, jettisons everything that I hold dear about the […]


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My Pitch For The Purge 2

Well, color me surprised. I saw the trailer for the purge a few weeks ago and was instantly turned off. The masks, my friends. The mask in the trailer looked lame and corny. I was intrigued by the plot, I dig Ethan Hawke, and I dig home invasion movies, but those masks ensured that I wouldn’t be making the trek to the local theatre. Apparently, I was the only one […]


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No, It’s Really Good: Star Trek III: Search For Spock

No, It’s Really Good is going to be a recurring column in which I examine overlooked or under appreciated films. Today’s film is Star Trek III: Search For Spock. Maybe this is an extremely unpopular opinion but I’d put Star Trek III: The Search For Spock up against any film in the franchise.   Let’s take a quick step backwards and remember some of the history that got us to […]


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The Donald Haire Diaries #1

Driving back from Venice, CA. sucks. Plain and simple. I’ve got to find a Molly dealer who lives closer to me. I’m so sick of driving all the way from my nook in Reseda to get my stash of MDMA for the week. Or few days, as the case may be. Yes I love MDMA. As in tons. As in “life is bearable only when I can quiet my rapacious […]


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