MIMO - When Music is Your Fix

A Return to the Closet

There I was, minding my own business, pondering how best to fill this Internet tube, when all of a sudden R. Kelly comes tearing out of nowhere to drop a heaven-sent content bomb all over my world.



Like, a whole 20 chapters more. According to a trailer posted on IFC (which is being stingy with the embed codes, so here’s a link), R. Kelly will be dropping the twenty-third chapter of his R&B epic/crazy person’s stream-of-consciousness on (appropriately enough) November 23.

For those unfamiliar with Trapped in the Closet, Mr. Kelly has helpfully supplied a full month in which to consume, ponder and come to revere the first 22 chapters of his ongoing tale of love, Berettas, midgets, cops, closets, flip phones and unfaithful women.

As a primer for those new to this party (and also because I’m looking for a cheap excuse to re-watch it) here are some of the essential moments from the first 22 chapters of the world’s foremost, closet-based psychodrama.

(Also, because it’s both amazing and necessary, here’s a flow chart describing the characters’ relationships.)


Chapter 1

Where it all began. We are here introduced to R. Kelly’s Beretta, the titular closet and several of the cast of seemingly hundreds who will come to populate this inexpensively produced world.


Chapters 9-10

I can only imagine the fun that R. Kelly has with singing in a hammy, faux Southern accent. I can only imagine the fun that the world has watching Michael Kenneth Williams do combat with a midget.



Chapter 14

No huge drama in this one, but I just dig the hell out of the waitress, as well as Sylvester’s white-suited alter ego.


Chapter 20

R. Kelly throws himself at the role of “Randolph” with a surprising abandon. This is a Saturday Night Live-quality impression.

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About the Author


Shane Danaher's affection for pop music has peppered his adult life with a variety of aesthetically rewarding and financially disastrous decisions. After moving to Portland, Oregon for college (because that's where he heard Modest Mouse was from) Shane has wound up participating in the music world in roles ranging from 'drummer' to 'promoter' to 'bathroom floor scrubber.' He has toured without money, written about almost every band ever to have come out of the Pacific Northwest, and one time traveled all the way to Los Angeles just to see a catch hip-hop show. He currently resides in Portland, where he writes about hip-hop, pop and rock music for a variety of publications. He still plays drums. He wants to meet Kanye West.

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