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The End Times Are Near: Hot Wheels Movie Has A Director

It’s constantly shocking that any sort of intellectual property that makes any sort of money is being turned into a movie these days. Where’s the Shamwow or the Slap Chop movie? What’s happening to the world? Why do studios constantly want to make movies out of crappy IPs? No one wants a Hungry Hungry Hippo film. Just stop trying to adapt things that don’t have narratives?

Hot Wheels: The Motion Picture has just announced that it has found a director. Simon Crane, a prominent second unit director on such films as Quantum of Solace, Stardust, and World War Z, has officially signed on. The film will be written by Paul Attansio (Donnie Brasco, Sum Of All Fears).

One day all this ‘adaptation fever’ will die down and films will be written by screenwriters again. We’ll be able to have new screen icons, not just recycled adaptation survivors. Someday, stories will be created for the screen instead of adapted upwards. Eventually people will get fed up with this nonsense, and I can’t wait for that day. I’ll be the first one to throw the match of the effigy of the movie version of the Jolly Green Giant.


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About the Author


Dave Baker, originally from the drug-infested wasteland that is Arizona, lives in Los Angeles. He has a degree in Visual Communications with an emphasis in Illustration. Logically, he makes a living as a writer. Dave has written comic books and the moving pictures. Dave also enjoys talking about himself in the third person, not cooking, and taking long walks around his apartment. If you'd like to read more of his writing or comics they can be found at

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Posted in: Film, Miscellaneous, Movie Rumors


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