Michael Bay’s big screen reboot for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is making its way to the big screen. It’s got a huge budget, snappy dialogue, and a cast of pretty humans running around doing pretty human things.
You know what it doesn’t have? Humanity. Quality. A basic understanding of what the fans want to see in a TMNT movie.
Oh, and dudes in suits. Although that might just be me, not the wider fan base. I really, really like practical suits.
So, you’ve watched the trailer now. So we can talk about it a little bit. How awful are the Turtles designs? I know this has been well covered…. pretty much everywhere. But they’re really bad.
The biggest thing that this trailer gives away plot wise is that Shredder is a samurai-robot. Because that’s what you want to see right? A huge robot samurai? I mean, maybe you do. I don’t know. But it’s definitely not what I want. I got enough of that in The Wolverine, thank you very much. I want an awesome evil mastermind who is a badass cult leader who dresses like a samurai. I want the dude to be actually asian, which he’s not in this movie obviously.
The tone isn’t that far off. The writing could work in a good TMNT movie, but the visual landslide of VFX and CG creatures is just too much. There’s no restraint. There’s not a real sense of dynamism to the footage because none of the things flying/punching/kicking are real.
But that’s a qualm I’ve had for a while with the current crop of big budget films.
Long story short, TMNT looks mas no bueno. For a myriad of reasons.